Can We Make This Last?

Can you guess what most little girls dream of doing when they're big girls? If you guessed "get married to their prince charming", then you're right! (I'm sure feminists are pleased with this so far.)

It seems like the idea of marrying your prince/princess has been instilled in our minds from an early age. Not that it's a bad thing, but when you were 7 years old did you really understand the emotional and communicational aspects related to marriage rather than whether your spouse will take your toys away?

I didn't think so.

If we look into why marriages fail, we would see that a lack of both communication and attention are top dogs in ending marriages. These aspects could be helped early in the engagement stage.

Let me ask you this.

How long do you think two people should be engaged? Six months? One year? Three years? Although everyone will have their own opinion about the length, probably a bigger point is how the two people feel. Whether it's two dates or two years, the couple's feelings about each other will be a bigger reason for keeping or ending their marriage. Taking on the length challenge, it could be beneficial to wait at least a year so that you can see what they're like all four seasons (thefrisky.com).

Emotional factors - such as non-communication and lack of attention - have also grown fast and are the most commonly mentioned of all motives for divorce (timesonline.co.uk). Marriages can't possibly last without these two foundations.

In a research of divorced couples from 1949-72, 1973-84 and 1985-96, the results showed that the second most common complaint was "not able to talk", at 69% for women and 70% for men; followed by "not enough attention" at 67% for women and 70% for men (timesonline.co.uk).

A great part of failed marriages occur from lack of communication and little attention from a spouse. Maybe everyone should take a couples counseling class before they get married. Hmm...

Atterberry, Wendy. "How Long Should You Wait Before Getting Engaged?." The Frisky. N.p., 11 June 2009. Web. 15 Mar. 2011. http://www.thefrisky.com/post/246-how-long-should-you-wait-before-you-get-engaged/.

This website talks about the engagement length and when it's appropriate timing to end the engagement and get married. It references the "waiting a year to see how the person is during each season".

Dobson, Roger, and Ed Habershon. "All work and no play leads to divorce." The Times. The Sunday Times.. N.p., 26 Mar. 2006. Web. 15 Mar. 2011. http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/uk/article740123.ece.

This website mentions the percentages of divorces. It also mentions the emotional factors (communication and attention) that could lead to divorce if they aren't fulfilled.